Sydney here.\u00a0 So of course I’m trying to finish the first round of edits on a new book as well as wanting to start another book I have all planned out and I get a new idea for a book. It’s a curse. So instead of editing tonight, I wrote about 1200 words for a book that isn’t planned out. I’m not sure if I want to use this in a book, or put it up here as blog posts. In essence it’s from a supervillain’s POV and it’ll either be\u00a0 Supervillain’s Guidebook or Confessions of a Supervillain.\u00a0 Or I guess it could be the Supervillain’s Handbook. Or Tips on being a Supervillain. Or How to Be a Supervillain.\u00a0 You get the idea.\u00a0 So here’s what I came up with tonight:<\/p>\n
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Call me Bob or Shirley. I don\u2019t care. Now I\u2019m sure you\u2019re thinking that Bob is a boring supervillain name (it really is), but I don\u2019t want to reveal my true identity. Like the heroes, supervillains can have secret identities. Why you ask? It\u2019s simple. There are times when I want anonymity. Do you think I want the so-called heroes showing up 24\/7? Hell no. Sometimes a supervillain needs some quiet time, some down time, a break. Seriously. You try being evil all of the time. It gets tiring.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s also another reason.<\/p>\n
My family (yes, supervillains have families). I\u2019m sure my parents and siblings don\u2019t want heroes showing up on their doorsteps. My parents are elderly. Heroes suddenly showing up on their doorstep would give them heart attacks. I\u2019m rather fond of my parents and would like to see them not expire anytime soon.<\/p>\n
There are times when I hate my siblings, (I think we all do that at some point) but for the most part we get along and, dare I say, love each other. My one sibling was the bane of my existence growing up, but we get along better now that we\u2019re adults (I do have suspicions that they haven\u2019t truly grown up). I mean, they were the one who would eat the last of something and then put the empty package back in the cabinet. How did I know it was them? That self-satisfied smirk on their face when they saw the disappointed look on your face. Now that is pure evil. To this day, I\u2019m honestly surprised they\u2019re not the who became a supervillain. Although for all I know, they could be. My family doesn\u2019t know I\u2019m a supervillain. At least I don\u2019t think they know.<\/p>\n
You must be shocked to discover a supervillain has a family. We\u2019re all not figures who have a tragic past where we either lost our parents, or had some tale of woe where we were abused and now hate our parents. Some of us are evil because we like being evil. We like seeing chaos, mayhem, suffering, and all around horrible things happen. Like it was said in a movie (albeit a superhero movie), some people just want to see the world burn. That would be us supervillains. At least some of us. Others want to rule the world (seriously, who would want to do that much work? Running the world is a HUGE undertaking. Definitely not for me).<\/p>\n
We don\u2019t just pop out of thin air as adult supervillains. There are a few that were made, (I can\u2019t mention names here because I don\u2019t want to get sued) but for the most part we have families. Some of us even have a wife\/husband and children. Not me of course.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the thing with families. They\u2019re a weakness. If someone knows your real identity, it doesn\u2019t take much to find your family members. They can be used as leverage against you by other supervillains (this isn\u2019t a club where we all get along just because we\u2019re evil) and even heroes can use them against you. Yes, I said heroes. Do you think heroes are so pure and righteous that they won\u2019t try to turn your family members against you? Of course they will. They want to stop you and won\u2019t hesitate to use whatever leverage they can find.<\/p>\n
Secret identities are important. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. Look, we all have things that need to get done and don\u2019t need or want attention drawn to ourselves while we do it. Do you think I could go to the grocery store or book store dressed as a supervillain? Hell no. I\u2019m that mild mannered person wandering the aisles, looking for an item on my list. I don\u2019t need to be in the grocery store reaching for that can of Spam (don\u2019t judge me) and BAM! A hero shows up out of the blue and knocks me across the store into the dairy case. Milk is spilled and people are running around screaming. Unnecessary chaos. Just like you, some of us want to shop in peace (not all of us are into robbery and just taking what we want). Your secret identity is something that should be protected and guarded like the gold in Fort Knox (note to self: research Fort Knox for future plans).<\/p>\n
I know some will say send a minion, but do you know how hard it is to find someone who knows exactly what kind of book you want to read or what snack I\u2019m craving? I like to browse and see what catches my eye. A minion can\u2019t do that for me. Besides, if it ever got to the point where a minion could do that for me, it\u2019d be time to get rid of that minion. No one should know me that well. That\u2019s just inviting someone to use that knowledge against me.<\/p>\n
Do you know what is almost as important as your secret identity? Your supervillain name.<\/p>\n
Look, your supervillain name needs to be intimidating and strike fear into everyone. Pick the wrong name? People will laugh at you. How can someone be afraid of you if they\u2019re too busy laughing at you and making fun of your name? I\u2019ve seen it (no, it didn\u2019t happen to me and I\u2019m not telling you my supervillain name) and it wasn\u2019t pretty. Not only will civilians and heroes mock you, other supervillains will mock you. You don\u2019t want to be the laughing stock of the supervillain community. Trust me. We\u2019d be a lot harder on you than anyone else will be.<\/p>\n
These days finding and picking a name can be tough. All the good names are probably taken. Like Dr. Do(not finishing that. Don\u2019t want to get sued). You get my point. I hope. You don\u2019t want to end up in court arguing about your supervillain name. I\u2019ve seen it happen. It wasn\u2019t pretty. Besides, all that money you have acquired (legally or illegally. We are supervillains after all) can be put to better use than spending it on court cases. Save yourself time, dignity, and money and do research before you pick your name.<\/p>\n
Same thing goes for costumes. You need to pick something that won\u2019t be laughed at. People will give you a lot of advice on what you need and what to avoid. Take their advice with salt. I\u2019m going to channel my inner Edna Mode here and say \u201cNO CAPES!\u201d. Seriously. Go watch that part of The Incredibles<\/em> (and the ending with Syndrome). In fact, watch those two parts a few times to get it to sink in.<\/p>\n We should all hire fashion designers for our costumes. Although on second thought, we could end up looking ridiculous like those runway models (who would actually wear that stuff they model?). Do your research. Folks don\u2019t do their research and then suddenly we have a dozen supervillains all dressed as evil clowns. Or worse yet, mimes. There’s nothing worse than a dozen evil clowns or mimes running around at the same time.<\/p>\n Sometimes simple goes a long way and is better than obnoxious over-the-top costumes. Dr. Horrible from Dr. Horrible\u2019s Sing-Along Blog<\/em> is a good example of a simple and serviceable costume. Although it did little to hide his real identity. Masks are a good way of hiding your identity, but make sure you can see and breathe. They are important things.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So that’s it for tonight. What do you think? Blog posts, or a book?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Sydney here.\u00a0 So of course I’m trying to finish the first round of edits on a new book as well as wanting to start another…<\/p>\n